Guidelines

I invite you to leave comments, ask questions, and get a discussion going.

Please keep in mind that if you choose to leave a comment, once that comment is posted it will be visible to anyone who reads the blog. You don’t have to use your name; consider your privacy needs, and do what you’re comfortable with.

If you decide to post a comment, please follow a couple of guidelines:

First – NO “war porn”, please. By that I mean, don’t describe horrible things that happened to you or to anyone else.

Your trauma stories could trigger someone reading your comment, and re-traumatizing each other is not support. So – if you share gory details, I will not be able to post your comment, because I want this blog to be a safe space for everyone. Post comments and questions, by all means, but please be gentle with each other.

Secondly – NO selling stuff. Folks – I’m here volunteering my time because I believe that you guys deserve an online community of peer support and information on PTSD – this is a place to learn, ask questions, and support one another. If I can show up without expecting to profit from this, then I really must require the same of everyone else.

So, please contribute comments and questions, but no links to buy your book, gadget, gizmo, thing-a-ma-jig, miracle cure-all doohickey, you get the picture. This is not a bazaar.

Third – you’re welcome to disagree, but please be civil. At times, you may disagree with something I say. I welcome your feedback, and the opportunity to learn from it. If I’m wrong, I will suck it up and say so. But, I ask that you please disagree with a statement, rather than bashing a person for making a statement.

 

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~ Dr. Dee Rajska, C. Psych.

Please feel free to share this post, and any other on this blog, with anyone who you think might benefit.

I’d love to have you share your thoughts, comments, and questions – but before you post, can you take a quick peek at the guidelines? (Basically, please don’t post trauma details that will trigger other people, please don’t sell stuff, and be respectful to others when you post.)

If you’d like to get more updates from me, you can find me on Twitter and on Facebook.

Fine print: Reading this blog is a good start, but if you’re having a hard time, it’s no substitute for getting actual therapy. It takes a different kind of courage to admit to yourself that you’re struggling and need help. It’s not a sign of failure – it’s a sign that you’ve been through a lot, and you’re in some pretty great company. Reach out, and give yourself a chance to feel better.

Really fine print: Unless otherwise noted, all original photography on Coming Back Home is copyrighted. The photo gracing today’s post was taken by Larry M. Jaipaul, and I’d like to thank him for generously allowing me to use his work. Please do not copy photographs from Coming Back Home without permission.

 

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38 thoughts on “Guidelines

  1. I have been diagnosed with PTSD but really have treated my self since the shink I went to only wanted to use massive drug does, I didn’t want to be a zombie, and the mental health clinic where I was seen by a psychologist I was told PTSD is only a minor form of anxiety and if I really needed it, she would arrange for me to sit in on a few of her group sessions. I have a very supportive family and have managed quite well on my own and I have a small support group of us but want to thank you for your belief in us with the disorder and willingness to help those in need

    • Hi John!
      Thanks so much for stopping by, and for taking the time to leave a comment. Thanks so much for your kind words :-)
      First, I’m really sorry to hear that you got such crummy care in the past. PTSD is *NOT* “a minor form of anxiety” – it is a serious disorder that can disrupt your life, but you already know that. And I *absolutely* believe in you guys (and gals), and am happy to do what I can to help out.
      I’m glad you have some good supports – and I also know that not everyone out there does. That’s why I’m hoping that, over time, this blog can become a space where vets/currently serving members can be a source of support to each other, so no one feels they need to suffer alone.

  2. Dee… somebody is out there reading…. me… so I wont copy the pictures, or sell “Torqued out grimli grommets with a bindle rotor attachement” but I must ask, Primal screams allowed when bureaucratic BS becomes overwhelming? :)

    • Hey Cous!
      Thanks for stopping by :-)
      If you really love the pictures and want a copy, just ask – Larry’s a pretty chill dude, he’ll be honoured to share his work, so long as you credit him with it.
      Thank you for not selling grimli grommets – of all the different kinds of grommets, you know I really dislike the grimli kind, they’re just so last season… 😉
      Primal screams are welcome, so long as they aren’t directed at each other :-)

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    • Hi Donna!

      I’m glad you’re finding the site helpful.

      A lot of my posts try to explain where PTSD symptoms come from, because the more you understand, the less scary and overwhelming it is. I do also try to post practical, how-to tips on coping.

      If you’d like to follow the blog, go to the homepage:

      http://canadianveteransadvocacy.com/comingbackhome/

      Scroll down and look on the right-hand side. You’ll see: a list of recent posts; categories; archives; NewStatPress… Subscription.

      Type in your email address in the little box right under subscription, click “subscribe”, and there you go – you’re a freshly-minted subscriber :-)

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  23. Thank you so much on all your post! You have helped me tremendously with helping my hubby cope with daily task. I do have a question , what can I do with arguments and outbursts that my husband still goes through? How do I get him to go out more often.thank you concerned wife in Utah.

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  26. I am sitting here in my house talking to myself. The wind is blowing strong and my thoughts are of the other place I used to live and work in. This is the third night I am having trouble sleeping. I try my mantas again saying… I am safe here. No one or thing is trying to harm me. I am not in the Arctic. I am safe and sound in my home. Family and friends are near and dear… even just a phone call away. Now I look at my photo book of pictures that make me think of special times when I felt wonderful. I am breathing and I am okay for now. This isn’t always the case or possible. Sometimes I stay awake all night. Crying… wondering… hoping for change. Sometimes I meditate. Sometimes I watch a musical, or listen to Jazz. Sometimes I eat a whole container of “half baked” ice cream and then beat myself up about it later. I have regained 90lbs. since my trauma. Does anyone else feel like they are on an emotional roller coaster? Does anyone else weigh their progress by how quickly they can cope or recover during an incident of flashbacks or anger? I am aware there is no nice perfect little pill or program to work. Sometimes I can manage or feel… other times, I feel so useless. I used to be the one who pushed through everything and got it done. My major problem with PTSD is believing that I can get this done too. Thank you for letting me vent Dr. Rasjka. I am breathing now. :-)

  27. Train of Thought
    thoughts and memories that return again and again are put on a train. i imagine a real train, and turn the memories into passengers with luggage, help them onto the train, and send the train off to somewhere.

    judith

  28. i have tried mindfulness meditation and stuff like it, and I don’t know why or if I’m the only one with this issue, but I just can’t seem to “dump my mind” or “just accept my fate with a smile”. I don’t know if I’m too far gone or if it’s because it’s so close to home for me. I am on medications and therapy and such, and nothing seems to really help much, if at all.
    I don’t know if anyone will really understand this or even care, but not telling yourself “other people have it so much worse” is really difficult in my position. I was permanently injured in BMQ and subsequently medically released. The military has always been, and always will be, my dream job. It’s something I excelled at, and I had respect from my platoon staff almost immediately. A stupid easy injury to fix took them a year to fix and trashed my other leg in the process and I was 3b’d.
    I feel like I don’t belong anywhere because I don’t fit in anywhere as a civilian anymore, and I don’t fit into any peer support groups because I was “only a recruit” and couldn’t possibly be worth a typed word because I washed out of basic. It leaves me feeling extremely isolated from almost everybody, even most of my family walked away from me because they knew the only shot in he$$ of me making something out of myself was in the military. I have been released for almost 3 years now and I can’t even go to school yet cause my head and injuries are so badly out of control. I don’t know what to do anymore and any input aside from “suck it up” would be welcomed.

    • Hi Jon.

      I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through… it sounds like quite an ordeal.

      Your situation sounds far more complicated than something I can clear up in a quick Q&A on the blog, so if you aren’t already, I urge you to find a professional whom you feel comfortable with, to get some therapy.

      First off – I’d like to clarify what mindfulness is… It’s not about dumping your mind or accepting your fate with a smile at all; rather, it’s about observing your own feelings without judging them. In this case, you might have some very intense feelings – of grief for the career you dreamed of, and feeling angry and cheated that things didn’t work out the way you had hoped. Rather than telling yourself to suck it up, mindfulness starts with accepting and observing the feelings of sadness and anger – your life’s dream was taken away from you, and you have every right to feel awful about it.

      If you’d like any help finding someone to work with, please don’t hesitate to message me privately at dee.comingbackhome@gmail.com. I’d be happy to find a colleague in your area. You’ve been through a lot, and you deserve the right supports so you can heal from this.

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